Creating a family is for a common person the desire for a man and a woman to get together and make children. The concept of a family has been reduced to a simple “living together”. This mentality has been surely derived from the modern way of living (too much work, the permanent pursuit of money to acquire a certain living standard). This preoccupation does not create a favorable environment for a family to live a reel family life. How can we fix it?
Once we decide to have children, we should have in mind that our daily lives will change. I remember when I was pregnant, my husband said: “It is weird. We used to be two persons in this house, very soon we will be three persons”. The coming of a child should be prepared even if we did not expect it. The integration of the child is not only providing for his/her needs, sending him/her to the best school, and living in a beautiful house. Indeed, all these dispositions contribute to the child blooming, but we forget most of the time the most important one: Love. Love is fundamental in our children’s education. For those who believe in God. Our faith book revealed to us that God loved us so much the world that he sacrificed his only son to save us. Have we ever made or are we ready to make a sacrifice for our children?
If we love our children, they need to participate in family decision-making. Even if their opinion will not be regarded but asking their point of view makes them feel considered. Children, therefore, feel honored and from the first experience, they will start developing critical thinking. We should not hesitate to ask them regularly their point of view on any subject, it is amazing, and we will be surprised.
Here is my story about my amazing family’s life.
I was born into a family with nine children. I am the second born. Besides our reel names, my parents gave a nickname to each child, and this created a uniqueness for each child and familiarity. From five years old, my siblings and I started participating in the family’s decision-making. It was such a wonderful experience, and we were surprised that at our younger age, we could give our opinion on family matters. Once, young boys and young girls, we were able to suggest some solutions that were entirely considered. Our education was authoritative, and caring but at the same time rigorous.
My father had a routine to always bring us together. He said, “we are your parents, this does not mean we are perfect and this is applicable to all human beings” From that perspective, my father has established three days in a week for family meetings which last thirty minutes. At these meetings, we are asked individually to relate the mistakes or the deviations in family management. We should also reveal if we have some grief among us. We do all this with respect to elders and parents
My siblings and I were privileged to have wonderful parents. They thought my siblings and me at an early age a sense of responsibility and the two principal values they wanted us to bring along all our lives are respect and gratitude. We always make a difference in our community and my parents were not only proud of us but were assured that we had tools for our future life.
A number of families are struggling to live a real family life because parents may not have been raised in a harmonious family. Even if we have had a bad experience with our parents, we know from our hearts that we would like to be happy. This desire should stimulate motivation to challenge ourselves to give our best to our children. Also. Being a single parent cannot prevent us to be happy. If the single parent is the father, he should allow the mother if alive to play her role, and if not an aunt or someone dear to the family should do it for the benefit of his daughters which will enable them to have a reference. If the single parent is the mother, she should involve the father or an uncle for the benefit of her sons to create the balance.
Marthe Asse